Posted in Negative, Rants

in which i find myself in bed with thoughts

​Im so tired and sad and ahdgnjfugve i really dont like it when my depression kicks in for no reason and its like hey fucker!!!!! Lets go fuck sum shit up and like no. Fuck you. Fuck off. Im tooo tired for this and im too sad for this. And i just want break and im ready for the 3 day weekend but also like i need to cram for oral exams so like why no im ready to die finals suck and i just want to cry a lot ok??? And like i dont like being insecure about stupid things like??? And i hate that feeling of somebody that you used to be best friends with, and like now you literally dont tlak to them and it just sucks because like??? Mutual friends and like??? I still care for this person, but i know they dont care for me and it just really really sucks sorry ive just been having a really terrible week and ive tried doing thigs hapoy like hanging out at lunch with friends but they never go as planned and them my brain makes a big deal of them andgajdks and im so stressed becasu e of myself because i have rhe tendency to overthink things and then the riny problems they create just get bigger snd bigger and like im falling behind kf school work and it makes me so sad bc i used to be a good student but not i feel like a failure and i dont know??? Like im trying to take baby steps but now i feel like i hit a road block and like relationship??? Kinda stress me out bc like there are times when the other person doesnt reply and then like im all like oh shit are they ignoring me?? But i have to tell myself that they have other prioitires and then theres still that back voice saying stupid tjings like what happpens if they never lkked you or what if this is just a lie adkgsj I DINT KNOW OK I DONT KNOW SO MANY THJNGS SO THEN IT GETS TO ME AND IT REALLY REALLY SUCKS LIKE I dont know hkw tk explain this feeling ok im sorry im just having a rough month and everything kust piled up and im just so lonely and sad and i hate feeling lonley bc then stupid thoughts happen Nd they grow bigger and bigger and then theres so much anxiety and stress that folloas and like the other day i had a panic attack for no reason and imdhaba like why???? It just made everything super terrible ok sorry im going to sleep now



I write, I rant and I ramble, but it's not the best.

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