Posted in Rants

How do people fall in love?

My English presented me with this question, and I was told to answer it in a paragraph. However, there are too many ways to answer it, but in spite of my other homework, I decided to make it as brief as possible.

How do people fall in love?

I believe there are multiples ways to approach this question. To generalize, the main groups of love are romantic, platonic, themselves, and a concept. However, some situations may vary since most forms of love for people takes time to grow and to create a strong bond. These brief explanations are only of what may become after a well built relationship, or bond. It is merely the essence of these concepts.

First, is the obvious form of love between partners (two partners or more), where they engage in either a sexual, romantic or a combination of the two. A way love is expressed in this type, is to show affection, and the relation may start off without either of them loving, but rather “liking” one another. However, to love someone, for me personally, is to tolerate them for an extended time. I am the type of person to need time to myself after being in a social event, or with many people for a long period of time. In my case, loving someone feels like not wanting to leave them, and their presence doesn’t stress or exhaust me out.

Second, platonic love is very similar to romantic, however the line that divides them is somewhat blurry (at least for me). Platonic love is normally expressed with a friend. It is similar to romantic love, by how people express it, however, in my understanding, platonic love is with someone that the person would spend much of their time with, and romantic is with the rest of their lives. Although in many cases, romantic love is not a “forever situation” but more of a temporary fix for the human’s need to be loved, social or wanted. Platonic may consist of strong bonds and the feeling to be wanted, but I don’t think it has any sexual meaning.

Another type of love is to have love for one’s self. In my opinion, to have love for oneself may be the hardest and most challenging love to have. People tend to be their worst critics, and they pick at the smallest mistakes. People’s mistakes are like holes, the more someone picks at it, the larger the hole is. This is the same for people. They notice their mistakes, and flaws, and in their mind they exaggerate how terrible it actually is.  The bigger the flaw, or amount of confidence someone has, the harder it is for the person to learn to love themselves. For someone to love themself, they have to learn to accept all parts of themselves. There is this quote from a book, which when summarized, states that if the love hold true, then the person is doing the loving, will love the entire people, and not choose specific part to love, and ignore the rest. And I think that to love oneself  has to be loving the perfections, the imperfections and the inbetweens, because someone cannot truly love someone by only loving certain part of someone, they would have to accept the flaws as well. If they don’t, they are only loving a part of the person. It’s like how there is the concept of “two-faced people”, and only loving certain parts of someone, and ignoring the rest, is like only loving one side to someone and pretending the other side in nonexistent.

In my case, I’m still in the process of learning to love myself, as many people still are. I had to learn that I was a flawed being and I had to tell myself that it was okay for me to be this way. I am a perfectionist, and having these flaws caused so much stress. However, I had to truly realize by myself that I was fine the way I was, and there was nothing I had to change about myself in order to strive for the perfect being. I have learned that I am perfect because my imperfections make a unique person, and if I was like other people, there wouldn’t be a “me” anymore. I would merely be a copy, of a copy, and so forth.

Finally, there is the love of concepts. To clarify, I mean the love for a book, or art, or a sport, etc. By concept I mean something that fictional or human. Like how there is the idea to fall in love with a fictional character. The person may not love them, in the sense of marriage, but they embrace the idea of  the character and can be taken as admiration. There is also the feeling of seeing something that makes the person so overwhelmed with inspiration, as if they felt infinite. This may be because of a piece of art, an action that was admirable, a well written, etc (It really just depends of the person’s interests.) Therefore, the person will fall in love with what they experienced, or what they learned from them.

In conclusion, to answer the question of  “How do people fall in love?” is not answered. To be frank, this question is not what can be answered so shortly. However, in a brief and broad explanation, it is like a pop moment. A pop moment is where something that was confusing, suddenly becomes clear. Love being in a pop moment, may have the person suddenly realizing that this is how love is like, and although it is different for  all cases, there are some common ground. The process has to involve time and commitment in order to form a strong bond between two people, known more commonly as love. And to love someone is to love them as a whole, and not just a shadow of whom they are. Love feels like pure indescribable warmth and happiness.

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I write, I rant and I ramble, but it's not the best.

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