Posted in Negative, Rants

Rant #3

Uphill and downhill. Everyone knows that uphill can stand for things getting better, and how downhill can stand for things that are getting worse. But why is that?

I think it’s because when someone is literally going downhill, then things are supposed to be easier. So then when things are going downhill does it mean that when things that are going bad, then it’s easier for things to get worse? I mean I think that might be true because it’s like oh you forget one thing, and then when you’re stressing about that one thing, then other bad things happen, and so eventually they pile up and maybe that is what it refers to?

And for uphill, ok so it’s harder to bring things uphill, because science stuff right? But metaphorically speaking, when things are going up hill , things are getting better. And in real life, for things to get better, then the person has to work for it, and it’s going to be hard, until they are at the top. Maybe that’s what it refers to?

Sorry, change of subject.

You know what weird, is that like when my friends are having problems and they are really unsure and they need help, and so when they talk to me, and I give them decent advice, but the thing is I get a lot of the similar problems, but when I have them, I don’t use my own advice, and then it gets really problematic and I don’t’ know I really hate. I really hate myself sometimes for being so stupid. Like why do I make things so hard for myself when things can really be easy, and I just overthink things and it ends up being a terrible and fucked up thing that happens in my life?

And like why is it that when I have problems and then my friends also have problems, and I shove my problems into a corner and then I help my friends with theirs, but then at the same time, my problems pile up, and then when i actually look at them, it is like a giant pile of fuck ups, and then it just tips over and falls on me. Why is it that I do that? That I always put people ahead of me? Is it because When other people are happy, it makes me happy, despite the numerous amount of problems( no matter how big or small they are), and how I push them to the back of my mind, only to have them run back and stab me over and over again. Why is it that I always make the wrong decision? Why is it that I constantly think that my existence is pointless, and that life isn’t worth living?

Why is it that whenever I wake up I think that it’s going to be pointless to get up because nobody is going to care anyways?

WHY IS IT THAT I KEEP THINKING THESE THOUGHTS?

And why is it that I constantly wear a mask tot tie down these thoughts in my head, to make it seem like I’m ok, and that I’m fine?

Because it’s like I’m a huge fucking liar because I’m never fucking fine. I’ve just been on this downhill slope for the past 3 fucking years, and I’m going straight to hell. Just kidding, I’m already there with this fucking fucked up brain.

Why am I being so negative. Why?

 

End of Rant

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Author:

I write, I rant and I ramble, but it's not the best.

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