I think it’s hard for me to go to sleep. I’m not really sure why, it’s like a mixture of just being afraid of myself and my own thoughts, and then the fear of what the future holds for me. And like with my thoughts it’s like I constantly fear them, because it’s like they are the end of me, and I’m not sure how to deal with that.
It’s like how in every book there’s the villain and the hero, and the hero beats the villain, and they live happily ever after. So then, like in real life, the villain is yourself. How do you beat yourself?
Thoughts stay with you for a long time.
I guess it’s just part of living where you just learn how to deal with things, and like nobody can tell you how to deal with them, because everyone’s situation is different, so their solution can be applied to your problem. And for some of us, it takes longer to find our own solution than others do.
And that’s ok. You just have to be patient with yourself, and fate.
But never, and when I say never, I mean don’t ever fucking do this because it will fuck your life up, and you’re going to be a mess.
Never push your problems aside and let them pile up. Don’t run away from your problems, because you know what happens when you do? You lose what matters most top you, because you were to scared, or you thought you were just avoiding a bad situation while you were making a worse one for yourself.
See, if you pile up your problems, then they’re bound to just keep stacking up, and when that happens, it’s like your stress level is constantly going up, because you keep worrying about all the little things that you put aside and eventually it’s going to be like a ticking bomb, and the countdown is every problem that you put aside.
But see, with putting your problems aside, like it doesn’t apply to some situations. Like if you’re feeling like nothing matters, and that you feel empty inside, and how you just don’t care anymore, and how you don’t really feel emotions that often, or you just feel sad all the time, well that I don’t know how to deal with that, because I’m still in the process of figuring that out. I constantly deal with all these thoughts, but I maintain this by taking it out in a healthy way. Like crying, or writing, or drawing. Just choose something you enjoy, or pick something new that you’ve been meaning to try out, and if that doesn’t work, no worries, because life goes on.
The show must go on!
And that’s how life rolls. Time doesn’t stop for anyone, nor can people catch up with it, so what should we do? Deal with it (in a healthy way, because in no way is this rant saying that it’s ok to take drugs, or have alcohol, please don’t take your problems out that way.)
end of rant.